Show Up or Stay Home!

Do you ever think about how you're showing up in the world? Do you ever think about how you're showing up in your community? Do you ever think about how you're showing up in your mind and body?

Probably the greatest lesson that I ever received from my mother was one which she would teach me quickly before I stepped out the door of our house every time. She would simply say, "Remember who you are." As a teenager and a young adult it would often annoy me to a small extent, believing she didn't trust me to be responsible. But it has been one of the foundational paradigms of my life that has brought me much success, given me confidence and made me the leader I am today.

I'm no longer living with my parents so I don't have her to remind me to "remember who I am" every time I leave my house (even though she still does it when I visit home!) but I have happily taken the task of doing it for myself. Every day, before I do anything, I say to myself, "Remember who you are." This gives me a push to work out harder, to eat better, to love deeper and, most importantly, to SHOW UP as the best person I know how to be in every situation of every day. It has become Effortless and a habit because I've done it so much over the years.

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Over the past couple years I have evolved the thinking and feeling behind it, though. The words remain the same, because the feeling those specific words give me is so important to the process, but instead of remembering who I am I now remember who I am becoming. It gives me an extra edge over other people who don't have that motivation to be exceptional. Remembering who I WANT to be when I'm dealing with people makes me the Effortless Alpha I dream of being, and makes me SHOW UP, not only for me, but for my girlfriend, for my business partners, and very, very importantly, for my mother.

Take a look at yourself...be honest...do you SHOW UP every day as the best version of yourself? Maybe give yourself a reminder to "Remember who you are."

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I Hope You’re WRONG

What if your NEED to be RIGHT is the reason everything is going WRONG?

Have you heard the saying, "You can be RIGHT or you can be HAPPY"? Or perhaps, "You can be RIGHT or you can be RICH/WEALTHY"?

Where in your life do you feel the need to be RIGHT?

"You can be RIGHT or you can be HAPPY" in a relationship.

For me, every now and again, I feel that need to prove that I'm right. That I finally remembered something that she didn't! But did I remember it correctly, or was I remembering it from my personal point of view? I could be right from my own point of view, but does that make me RIGHT? Surely it doesn't make me right from her point of view most of the time.

So when I'm fighting that point is it worth upsetting her and spending a day, a half a day, or two days upset and disconnected? It's absolutely NOT worth that! We have a finite number of days on this planet and to spend it emotionally apart from the person or the people you love the most is absolutely not worth it!

Check in with yourself when you get into that arguing mindset and you're completely in the fore-front of your mind. Do you need to be RIGHT or would you like to be HAPPY? All it takes is a moment of recognition, "Am I just fighting this point because of my feeling of my NEED to be RIGHT?"

"You can be RIGHT or you can be RICH" in business.

Where are you saying to yourself in your life, your business, or your job that it's difficult? "I can only make this much money in this position", or "I have no other talents that I can go and get another job". We can be whatever we want to be! I've done seven different jobs in seven completely unrelated fields and I've been successful in all of them! But in each one I got to a point I was telling myself I was RIGHT about my boss being a jerk, or having a dead-end job, or I could not make any more money doing it...until one day, doing sales, when I thought I was making as much money as I could, and the job kinda sucked but it was paying the bills, I was shown that I could make double and work even less! All it took was a little extra training from someone who was better at it than me, a little practice and the belief that I could do it. Then I showed myself I could do it!

But until that point I was RIGHT! And I really wanted to be RIGHT that I could not make any extra money! I was subconsciously sabotaging myself when going into work every day because I wanted to be RIGHT that it was hard, that the job wasn't quite worth the money I was earning.

So where in your life are you feeling the NEED to be RIGHT? Your mind is going to tell you, "Nowhere! I don't NEED to be RIGHT!" So ask yourself then, where am I not 100% happy? Finances? Relationship? I will guarantee you that where you're not feeling comfortable is where you're feeling your NEED to be RIGHT about how difficult it is or about how someone else is treating you.

So just be HAPPY in the journey out of your NEED to be RIGHT! We can be WRONG once in a while and be REALLY HAPPY! It's not something that feels great right away...in fact, it feels kinda crappy to accept the fact that we're not RIGHT. It felt really crappy to me...it still does sometimes, to accept the fact that I'm not RIGHT! My body does not like to be WRONG, especially in relationships. It feels like anxiety and anger and resentment...but it has nothing to do with the other person in the relationship. It has everything to do with my desires and my NEED to be RIGHT.

However, being RIGHT or being WRONG is not the answer! Being open to opportunity and possibility is the answer. The challenge of accepting being WRONG is dealing with the shame, guilt and fear of not being RIGHT. So, what would your life look like knowing that beyond being RIGHT about your current circumstances are the possibilities of being wealthier, healthier, happier and more passionate TODAY? Since this is the case, wouldn't you therefore prefer to be WRONG?

  Kevin Scott

Effortless Alpha

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