Get Back to Better!

What is normal? What is best? What is worse?

“Normal” is very subjective and is unique to each individual. A question men do not ask themselves is “What is my standard for normal?” An even better question that men do not ask themselves is “What is my goal to increase my normal standard?”

“Normal” is the comfortable routine that allows us to easily breeze through each day without TOO much harm or differentiation to the schedule or to ourselves. I challenge you to look at your life, as is, and honestly determine what your “normal” is. Then ask yourself, “Do I like my normal, or can my standard for normal get better?”

The reason for this article is I’ve heard so many men say, “I have to get back to normal.” after a break-up or an extended layoff from work or even a bout of sickness. I understand the desire to “get back to normal” because it’s easy, and comfort feels good. Nobody ever says, “OK, now that that’s over I’m going to go be worse.” You have the option to, but you don’t choose that because worse hurts, it feels bad. You also have the option to say, “I am going to Get Back to Better!” If you’ve just had your heart broken, lost a job, had the flu, or just had a bad night’s sleep, you have the opportunity to make a distinct change in your life and “Get Back to Better!”

Take a look at who you were during that relationship that ended. Are there any areas for improvement in yourself so that you can have a better, deeper, more passionate and intimate relationship next time? Look at the person who had the job that was lost. Could he be more proactive, complain less, stand up for himself more, or be less argumentative. Take a close look at the person that was lying in bed, sick. Could that person eat healthier, exercise more, or start taking care of himself as soon as there were signs of illness?

I want to note that the changes I’m suggesting are not easy ones. Most men cannot just flip the proverbial switch and, tada, they’re changed for the better! These are not simple changes but they ARE possible. So instead of “getting back to normal” why not give it a shot and “Get Back to Better!”

Show Up or Stay Home!

Do you ever think about how you’re showing up in the world? Do you ever think about how you’re showing up in your community? Do you ever think about how you’re showing up in your mind and body?

Probably the greatest lesson that I ever received from my mother was one which she would teach me quickly before I stepped out the door of our house every time. She would simply say, “Remember who you are.” As a teenager and a young adult it would often annoy me to a small extent, believing she didn’t trust me to be responsible. But it has been one of the foundational paradigms of my life that has brought me much success, given me confidence and made me the leader I am today.

I’m no longer living with my parents so I don’t have her to remind me to “remember who I am” every time I leave my house (even though she still does it when I visit home!) but I have happily taken the task of doing it for myself. Every day, before I do anything, I say to myself, “Remember who you are.” This gives me a push to work out harder, to eat better, to love deeper and, most importantly, to SHOW UP as the best person I know how to be in every situation of every day. It has become Effortless and a habit because I’ve done it so much over the years.


Over the past couple years I have evolved the thinking and feeling behind it, though. The words remain the same, because the feeling those specific words give me is so important to the process, but instead of remembering who I am I now remember who I am becoming. It gives me an extra edge over other people who don’t have that motivation to be exceptional. Remembering who I WANT to be when I’m dealing with people makes me the Effortless Alpha I dream of being, and makes me SHOW UP, not only for me, but for my girlfriend, for my business partners, and very, very importantly, for my mother.

Take a look at yourself…be honest…do you SHOW UP every day as the best version of yourself? Maybe give yourself a reminder to “Remember who you are.”